The case for experience

After Tiger Woods' miraculous win at Torrey with one leg tied behind his back...his self-inflicted battle wound sending him to the hospital with "new and improved" doctors orders that don't just involve standing up for golf, but also kneeling down for Sam...he is but a spectator for the rest of the year.

Pundits from both sides of the pond have pontificated the need for someone on Tour to take this opportunity of Tigers' absence to assert themselves into the captains chair.

So, I guess we have one...

Kenny Perry.

(we pause while Finchem picks up his jaw and grabs a tissue)

That's right...bless them Hilltoppers! The 48 year old Kentucky boy is running the tables on these tracks with more precision than the younger thoroughbreds who seemingly have the best opportunity to rise in this Tiger-void.

It's all about experience, and Kenny could have a very good case for "been there, done that i-tis", but it all comes down to who wants it more. While the young guns are busy primping and preening themselves for the limelight...the old man who has putters in his garage older than some of his competition is mopping it up.

Let's hear it for old guys who can prove they want it more, and can answer the bell when called upon!

Thanks for reading. Keep it in the short-grass,

JFB

Have yips? Look no further than L.A. for help.

Now that the world of golf has put the kibosh on performance-enhancing drugs (PED's), thinking out-of-the-box for solutions to find that extra edge are being sought-out in the strangest of places.

Like Los Angeles.

Yes, the place where you go to be seen has its roots in a product that can cure the yips.

That product is Botox.

According to a Bloomberg report, Botox...which (among losing your wrinkles) is used for patients with Parkinson's, Muscular Dystrophy, and other "focal dystonia"...or muscle cramping.

Yips is muscle-tightening...similar to writers cramps...and that is the basis of a study sponsored by Allergan (maker of Botox) to see if their product will be the silver bullet for yip-sufferers around the world.

If the study finds that there is indeed positive results, the ramifications could be huge as Botox is not considered a PED in golf.

No word yet if Scotty Cameron is worried.


Thanks for reading. Keep it in the short-grass.

JFB

14 months

14 months:



That's how long Tripp Isenhour will spend in jail thinking about his over-reaction.



14 months:



For completing a "one-in-a-million-shot" to the chest of an endangered Red Hawk, sentencing it to death.



14 months:



Nearly 1 month in jail per swing he took trying to stop the bird from squawking during his precious golf tips show.



14 months:



To locate new a resort that will allow him to film his instructional videos, since Grand Cypress (where he was filming) revoked his practice passes after the incident.



14 months:



To figure out how to recover from this PR disaster, so brutal, that even his 3 adopted cats are distancing themselves from him.



14 months:



For Tripp, an accomplished cook, to figure-up new recipes to serve to his fellow players when he returns from his penalty box...



...word has it that endangered fowl will not be on the menu.



14 months:



An accomplished YellowJacket and top 10 money winner in '06, that has been clawing (pun intended) his way back into the PGA ranks via taking his lumps on the Nationwide Tour... Tripp will have some time now to figure how to get his slumping birdie and eagle stats up from golf's murky depths...no word yet on his hawk stats...



...but we know his driving accuracy is spot-on.





Thanks for reading. Keep it in the short-grass,



JFB

Sport's Illustrated takes a divot

I got my copy of the annual SI 'Sportsman of the Year' last week, and I feel Brett Farve was the popular...but (and is usually the case) not the correct choice. Farve has had a great year, but he has had a better career...and I think that's where SI misses the mark. I would vote for Farve hand-down as a sportsman of the decade...but for this year?

Me thinks not.

My vote would have been for Lorena Ochoa, the number one woman golfer...in any language.

Winner of 8 Tournaments last year, she has become both Ayn Rand and Savior for her genders' golf, by successfully taking the hand-off from previous top cat Annika Sorenstam.
For women's golf, this was an important transition, because the golfer that was Annika's heir apparent...Michelle Wie, was too busy destroying her golf career...and was poised to do the same to the future of women's golf, had not this University of Arizona wunderkind stepped in with a wonderful rendition of the Mexican Hat Dance (Jarabe Tapatío) to save the future world of women's golf.

Because of Lorena Ochoa I dare say that women's golf has a better product going forward than men's golf.

Golf's version of the Mexican Revolution has just begun.


Thanks for reading. Keep it in the short-grass,

JFB

Playing baseball or basketball is much more strenuous than playing golf. But people continue going at the golf galaxy only because it is a relaxing sport. And unlike hockey or lacrosse, there is not a lot of running around.

This patch cures all

This weekend, I'll have finished the most grueling job I've ever experienced...dealing with erratic emotions, temper-tantrums, and runny noses...and this job was only twice-a-week.

I was my 4-year old's soccer coach.

I admit, I had a great time coaching all these little brats...er...budding Beckham's, and I got something I'll cherish forever...

...I got a patch. It's not just a patch mind you, but a symbol that I was the coach-it was my-way-or-the highway. If one of those parents had a problem with me sitting little Jimmy in the second-half...tough..."read my chest-pocket chief"...my patch was my shield.

Ok, I'll confess. All the coaches got them for volunteering...they were part of the sacrifice for giving up a couple days a week to run around and look important to a 4-year old...the free shirt-with-patch made me sign up.

Gotcha...pretty sad. I should have held out for more, like the PGA Tour pros do.

In the September issue of Conde Nast Portfolio, beat writer Kevin Cook breaks down what it costs to put a patch on a pro golfer. It's pretty sick.

Let's say your Widget Tees Inc, and you want to put your patch on a top PGA pro for a year. Let's start with the hat: $75k and up...or you could put a patch on the back of the lid instead for half.
How about sleeves: $10k-$1M? Would you believe there is a premium on which arm! It's because of visibility. The left sleeve is more desirable because most Tour Pro's are right-handed...therefore their left arms are front-and-center to the TV camera.

The article goes on about every other location, and is an eye-opening read, like what it costs for the rear...and how Johnnie Walker got away with sewing it's brand on Jim Furyks' collar.

I wonder if the the Pro's keep a trophy display of their patches? "Hey Phil, be careful with that one...vintage Cracker Jack's hat...man, that was a bad PR move for me...every time I'd tee it up...some clown from the gallery would shout..."Hey sailor...going my way?"...I should have stayed with Foot Joy."

Oh, and what's the going price for the chest pocket? Starting at $25k.

...hmmm...well, I did get those yummy cookies at the end of every game.


Thanks for reading. Keep it in the short-grass,

JFB

How to win the Ryder cup

The boosters are really serious at Notre Dame. So serious in fact, that they are testing the theory that the dead will "turn over in their grave" during an unlikely event...as, um...as in the 1-5 start of the Flatulent-ing Irish.
The family of George Gipp exhumed his body for DNA testing.

Word has it that he was face-down.

Who was George Gipp? He was the legendary Notre Dame football player who died at an early age of pneumonia. Legend has it that he told the Irish coach Knute Rockne on his deathbed, that if ever the players' backs were against the wall, to play hard for him.
That inspired The great Coach Rockne to utter the words "win one for the Gipper", during halftime of a half-hearted effort against Army...in which the team mounted a comeback and did win.

We don't have that sort of legend that will help us win the 2008 Ryder Cup.

We need a "Gipper"...we need inspiration.

We need Jack Nicklaus to coach the Ryder Cup...alas, we'll have to wait.

A wake-up call happened during Coach Nicklaus's President's Cup. It happened for every teammate...from the steeled eyes of Tiger, to the swim-goggled-eyes of Woody Austin.

The players want to win for someone they believe in.

Tiger (no less) has mapped-out his whole life's accomplishments on this singular man. Nicklaus has no equal...he is The Man...The Legend.

Who's not going to want to play for him? No offense to Paul...but is Tiger (et al) going to be pumped-up at a Zinger rally-cry? Not likely.

But a Nicklaus-led rally? Yeah, now you're talking. But let's do it soon PGA America. 2010 is right around the corner, and Jack is no spring chicken.

Tiger Woods wants to win a Ryder Cup for Jack Nicklaus.

He doesn't want to win one for some other coach when the chips are down, saying " let's win one for The Bear."

Thanks for reading. Keep it in the short-grass,

JFB

What golf needs is a fight.

Let's go back in time. It's 1979, a time when there were only 3 channels on the television, and 2 of them required an acrobatic manuever with a metal rod called an antenna.
Sports on TV were baseball, football and basketball...stock car racing was an unknown "sport" to the masses, and was only followed in backwater daily's, and niche magazines.

That all changed after "the fight".

My idol in my youth was Cale Yarborough, a fast...hard-as-nails driver, who's grit and desire to win was usurped only by his determination.

It was The Daytona 500, and that race was the first entirely televised broadcast of its sport. Coming down turn 4, Cale and Donnie Allison got into a crash crowding each other for the lead. Both spun-out in the grass...got out of their cars...and proceeded to beat each other's heads in with their helmets. While this trackside brawl was going on...Richard Petty went on to win the race.

It was the greatest sports event I ever saw on television.

What that race did, was start NASCAR into it's ascent in becoming the most-watched, televised sport, in our era.

And that's what golf needs...a fight.

We could have had one at Turning Stone. That first-year tournament, started and finished without a whimper...but it could have been so much more.

John Daly was there...rumored to have spent more time in the casino than the actual 7 holes he played in. Too bad for the fans, as he was knighted the headliner after (surprise) no star-studded players entered.
Rumored to have won 200G's the night before the tournament at the tables, he partied the night and early morning away...leaving him one (craps)-y hangover.

So this is what should have happened:

The players in his group should have confronted him on that 7th hole. Never Compromise putters should have been drawn...Daly could have drawn them back with his 540cc driver.

Sparks should have flown, fists should have been raised, clubs...instead of helmets...should have been broken over heads.

But none of that happened..instead Daly walked away with his 5th WD this season a little richer, and his fans a little poorer. No more than a side-note in the papers followed. Folks just got on with their lives...and the little town in Verona moved on.

Golf is a "gentleman's" game...and maybe that's the problem.

...its time that "gentleman" met its 'turn 4"


Thanks for reading. Keep it in the short-grass,

JFB

The cannabalism of the PGA, or: Coke gets rewarded

No doubt, last week's Deutsche Bank event was a thriller, anytime you have the two most popular players on tour duking it out Mano-a-Mano, it's gonna bring drama.

That's the problem.

Thanks in part to the Fed Ex Cup, the PGA is creating a situation where they are conditioning the golf fan to be interested only when there is a lot riding on the line (vis-a-vis Majors), or when Phil or Tiger play each other.

Take this week's BMW event...it was reported that less than 200 fans lined up to see Tiger tee it up Thursday, and with the combination of rain impacting the event...and Phil not playing...the BMW is looking more like The Ramblin' Wreck of Georgia Tech, instead of the show-stopper it was intended to be.

It's not that golf fans don't love golf, it's that the PGA is undermining their own popularity by giving the fans a reason that they have the power to prioritize what they watch (can you say hello football).

It's the reason baseball and football Unions have leverage. Unions know that if the players go on strike, fans will figure out new ways to occupy their time, and lose focus of the implied importance of every game. It makes it that much harder for team owners to recapture the audience.

So the PGA is left with this huge problem, and really no way out of it. It will mean a lot less money to fringe events (50% of next years' tournaments), and a lot more money to whatever event is on Tiger's schedule (with the implied guessing-game that Phil will be there too). The imminent danger is that the PGA is losing it's brand image, and it is becoming a bunch of individual brands (think NFL, and how they go to unbelievable lengths to protect its brand so the name is larger than the players). The PGA needs to look at all the problems the NFL players have had this year, and it won't even touch the NFL brand. It's masterful.

One tournament that is going to reap absolutely gargantuan rewards from this PGA gaffe, is next weeks Tour Championship in Atlanta. That event will be the most watched, most talked about, most exciting tournament this year. Thanks to last week's taste the fans were given of that Tiger/Phil duel, The Tour Championship will be pulling out all the stops to showcase its premier match-up.

The events big sponsor Coca Cola, will get a muche deserved redemption from last years' abrupt pullout of Tiger.

Coke's new ad campaign is all about the consumer getting rewarded from buying coke products.

But next week Coke will get rewarded...and, as the vintage ad goes: in perfect harmony.


Thanks for reading. Keep it in the short-grass,

JFB

Betting on the come

I love craps. By far, it is the most exhilarating game at a casino...but the game has more superstitions than the great Mark "The Bird" Fidrych.

I for one never bet against the come-out roll...it puts a negative spin on the whole purpose of wanting to have fun at the table. Half the fun of craps is everyone rooting for you when you roll the dice...the other half is winning...with the dice in your hand.

Notah Begay III is betting on the come. He is the official ambassador to The Turning Stone Resort Championship September 20-23rd. The first year tournament is sandwiched between the Tour Championship, and The Presidents Cup.

Notah is charged with wooing PGA Tour players to make the trek to his little oasis...but make no mistake about his real mission: it is Notah's job to bring Tiger Woods to the table.
Notah is placing a bet that he and Tiger (former roommate and teammate during the Stanford years) have enough of a connection to persuade The Chosen One to this little casino town of Verona, north of Syracuse.

Another reason Notah is ambassador for this tournament, is because of his Native American roots. Turning Stone is owned by the Oneida Nation which is supplanted in Oneida county. The clan, once decimated with poverty, has experienced an economic rebirth, thanks in part to the creation of the Turning Stone Casino and its semi-private golf courses which are world class.

The Turning Stone Resort Championship is the PGA Tour's only native American venue and
Tiger has a penchant for seeking out worthwhile causes...Notah believes this to be his wampum.

Right now, Verona is amp'd with the advent of their first big event to come its way since the Celebrity Chef Series. Notah is in the catbird seat...all the players are at the table waiting on his next roll of the dice to see if he hits the Tiger roll of 7's or 11's.

The exhilaration is intense as he fingers the dice in his sweaty little palm. He puts a little good luck blow on the dice right before he cocks his wrist, and flings the dotted cubes into perpetual motion...letting gravity pull them to the green carpet of the craps table.

And my money, with the rest of upstate New York, is on the come.


Thanks for reading. Keep it in the short-grass,

JFB

The diss

Prom night was the night for seniors. When my rite-of-passage came oh-so-many-years-ago...I was primed, and ready for action...heh-heh.
Yep, I was gonna woo the little lady right off her feet. Starting with the corsage, leading into a romantic dinner at Bern's Steak House, sweeping her off her feet at The Dance, then capping the night off in my car doing the tongue cha-cha.

Oh...my heart aches at how it really turned out. Everything went as planned...except for the car part. We got out of the car and (I remember this vividly) she nearly knocked me down getting to the door. She opened her screen door...turned around and said..."thanks for a great evening"...gave me a peck on the cheek, and...no sooner did her lips peel off my cheek...wham...the screen door grazed past me with a resounding clanggg.

I was dissed.

But, being a high testosteron-ed teenager...I eventually got over it.

Tiger Woods...aka...golf's Golden Child is being used as the newly-born Fed Ex Cup's fodder. all the media has been talking about since the start of this soon-to-fail marketing folly, is how The Golden Child is going to "grace us with his presence for each-and-every-one of these grand events"...capped-off with its $10 million dollar prize.

BTW: How ironic is it that Barclay's and Deutsche Bank are financing the first two events? I'm sure the suits at these firms are wondering how they are going to pay for these "shows" after the sub-prime blow-up. "Uh, Larry...got any change? we're pulling it in for the Fed ex cause...Geez, no Frank...I just had to re-up with my no-interest loan to an 8% jumbo fixed...I just don't know what I'm going to do...hey, that ledge looks awfully tempting..."

...but I digress.

So, here's Woods, all primed..winning the Firestone, then the major..the PGA Championship...all in 100 degree heat, creating an orgasm with the Fed Ex marketing guys and the media. Do you think they blink? "Hey Tiger...are ya too hot? can we get you some Kool-Aide?" No, Tiger's their date, and they're riding him to the Fed Ex prom. Hey Tiger...here's your corsage...here's your super-fine dinner.

Friday, Tiger decided to skip the dance...The Barclay's event. The first in the PGA's grand plan of resurrecting a TV-tired sport. Saying his body was "spent".

...hear that sound?...it's the marketing geniuses Mont Blanc's falling on the floor.

Tiger isn't spent..he's Superman. Tiger is providing us with two bits of information here that transcend him. One, he is telling us that a major is still more important than this homogenized gimmicky Cup deal...and two, that he is the reason that golf is surviving. No Cup is going to change that perception.

Tiger just shut dissed-'em.

Clangg!


Thanks for reading. Keep it in the short-grass,

JFB

The couch

I love a good couch. A couch is always there for you when you're ready for a nap. It never leaves...it doesn't wonder where you've been...it's always ready to cushion your body for a nap, remembering the slightest indentations of your shape. My last couch lasted me 15 wonderfully napping years.

We recently upgraded...a traumatically manly event, and it was literally an expedition to find one that I felt deserved the merit to replace it. My wife and I would trundle through furniture shops, darting through the slobbering salespeople to find the rooms labeled "Couches". As I laid down on the ones that met "the paint color scheme", my poor wife would have to feign ignorance to wondering shoppers as I laid down on the selected "part-time beds" she'd tell them: " I think his beta-blockers just kicked-in." As I'd be snoring away.

Suffice to say, we found our new couch, and it matches the paint on the walls. The best part though, is that it has 3 supportive cushions, and is long enough for those mid-nap stretches.

Tiger Woods shot a freakin' 62 1/2 Friday at the PGA Championship...he's holding his own today, and he will win Sunday. This is great news for me...why?

I've had both kid's this weekend while my wife worked...she's off tomorrow and is taking them to our pool. I offered a weak..."oh-I-can-take-them"...as a suck-up move which she bought by saying "oh that's okay honey...you just rest". So it's just me, and the residue of the last 2 days of screaming kids, with an average of 6 hours of sleep. I've got more collateral damage than the Bush Administration.

This PGA Championship win is worth 27,500 FedEx points. I'm going to click on CBS, pronate myself on our new couch...sling my leg over the top cushions, and count to 27,500.

So, thank-you Tiger, for making my Sunday an exceptionally relaxing one...

...and allowing me to bond with my couch.


zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

JFB

Hand Job

Something stuck out at me like a sore thumb (pun intended) when I glossed through my Golf and Golf Digest magazines this month.

First, GD had an advertisement for Ashworth clothes. A man (Peter Beames) in the middle of what looks like a field in Texas, demonstrating the correct hand posture during his follow-thru. The caption read: "Hand of the Magician".

Then, in Golf, is the new Nike ad in which there are 9 PGA pros demonstrating the correct way to demonstrate a "Victory Wave" with the new Platinum golf ball. At the bottom of the page is...I kid you not...is a shadow box with drawings of incorrect and correct ways to hold the ball in your hands when making a "Victory Wave".


So why the sudden hand fetish with golf? And since when has golfers' hands become modeling material? I mean how in the world can Rory Sabbatini's hands be considered marketable?


I think Nike has it wrong on one of the "incorrect ball displays", so for those of you who haven't seen the ad...here it is...an in-the-flesh version:

Yeah...I know...you're wondering if I'm a hand model...um, no...I'm not.

I have a bone to pick with Nike on this ball display. They say this is not a correct way to display the ball as a "victory", but they are assuming that everyone has had an actual victory, as in skins victory...or Eagle...or maybe even Birdie.

But what about all the rest of us? We all have slightly different versions of victory. Let's say you just break open a sleeve of these Platinum balls. They smell so fresh you'd swear they just came off the assembly line. You put one on the tee and THWACK! Into the drink it goes...you even forgot to properly introduce yourself to the poor ball as it sailed right past a Gosling...making a subtle KerPlop. You come up to the pond figuring you'd say the balls' last rites...when out of the corner of your eye you see a shimmer of the Platinum ball! you reach your hand in, and wallah!

That is what your hand looks like in the moment of that victory.

You can also see this hand position while hunting for your ratty old ball in the woods. Thrashing through the high plains like a Sulawesi rainforest guide, you come upon a brilliant-white-dimpled orb...untouched by the surrounding bird poop and poison ivy. Not yours, but better...a Platinum!

That is what your hand position looks like.

Now, here's another victorious hand position:

That's the victory hand-pose of your retailer snagging a couple Jackson's out of your wallet for these balls.

Thanks for reading. Keep it out of the short-grass,

JFB

Political irony

The trophy for the newly-minted Tiger Woods Congressional is a small replica of the US Capitol. On Sunday, KJ Choi hefted it above his head after taking a Ghinsu knife to the field, and de-boning the competition.

What's ironic to this event is when you compare it to what's going on off the golf course, a few miles away inside the US Capitol.

Right now, in the House and Senate...our political leaders are battling each other about how to handle the immigration problem, and the media is doing a fine job of polarizing our opinions on the subject. Should we let illegals in...should we keep them out...if their families are here should they stay...should we hand out more or less HB-1 visas...should we have worker programs to assist those that want to work toward becoming legal citizens?

Meanwhile in a world that is perfect (or as close to one as you can get)...yes, the golf world...KJ Choi, the first Korean to earn a PGA card...not an American...not an American-ized Korean...but a full-blooded South Korean who earned the right to play in America, banked over $1 million US with his win.

$1 = 920.60 Won...anyway you translate that, it's a lot of money, and its final resting place won't be in an American bank.

I'm sure there were a lot of Congressmen's dentures that fell on the floor after that win.

And there you have it. Such a simple solution to what has thus-far been an over-politicized and red-taped-morass of a problem has been solved from a guy named Tank.

You earn the right to come to America. Just like you earn the right to play on the PGA Tour.
You want to come to America to build houses? Here's a nail-gun...here's the roof...let's see how you perform. Do it well and earn a green card. Do it wrong...you'll get a red, and a taxi-ride back to your country.
You want your family to go to school? Here's a language test...pass, earn a green card, fail, and it's so long USA.
Abide by American rules...earn the right to live in a free society. Break the rules...go to jail...and I don't mean in America.

KJ Choi said that he read Nicklaus' 'Golf My Way' to help him become the golfer he is today.

I suggest today's Congressmen write a new book based on the teachings of the PGA.

They could call it: 'Immigration...our way'.


Thanks for reading. Keep it in the short-grass,

JFB

Hey Dad...umm...ever hear of Michelle Wie?

This video, on the surface, is awesome. A little kid that's got all the mechanics and interest for golf...and he's good to boot!

I'd love to have a video of his Dad taking the video of his son...I'm sure he's super-proud, chest puffed-out, ready to tell anyone that his son is the next big thing in golf.

Hey, it's his party...I don't want to rain on it....

But there is a danger lurking...not just for this Dad, but for all Dad's. It's called great expectations. And it has the ability to destroy relationships. It's what happened to Michelle Wie...Ty Tryon...Josh Hamilton, and every young person overachieving in sport for the sake of Dad's vanity. Sports Illustrated has dossiers on kids like these...file cabinets full.

We're all guilty of it...hey, I'm psyched coaching T-ball...and my kid's four! Heck...I didn't know a baseball from popcorn until I was 7. Yet here I am...oiling my sons made-in-China glove...telling him to "keep your elbow up to hit down on the ball."....Good grief. Is what I'm teaching him now going to stick? It's doubtful...is it worthy of trying? Absolutely.

Let's not get our own vanity get in the way of our kids. God has a humorous way of humbling us. For instance, let's take this kid in the video...and let's flash-forward 12 years. What if he has a bolt in his tongue, matching studs in his ears, and a tattoo on his back that would make Paris Hilton blush, and likes playing in the virtual Second Life rather than in the real present one? Will his Dad love him just as much? Sure he would. But does he love him as much as if he were a PGA pro playing in his first Masters with Dad on the bag? Doubt it.

Not every kid is going to be Tiger...not every kid will have tattoos over their body. Our job as Dads, is to expose them to as many positive experiences as possible...then step-back, cross the fingers, and hope we've succeeded.

And let's keep our great expectations at a distance.

Thanks for reading. Keep it in the short-grass,

JFB

"That's what I'm talkin' about!"

Golf enthusiasts looking for expert advice on improving their game need to check this out. Golf Tips ( www.golftipswithjoe.tv) debuts as a virtual driving range, offering viewers direct access to the best golf techniques available, delivered on demand over the Internet.

Golf Tips is one of several new programs being introduced by ON Networks, Inc.

Hosted by Joe Beck, a seasoned PGA professional with 20 years in the game. The show provides informed instruction designed to appeal to abroad range of golfers.

Beck tackles a different technique in 3-4 minute episodes, breaking it down into basic steps which he walks his viewers through...such as driving, putting, or escaping a bunker. This week's episode, titled, "Chipping, the Bump-and-Run", features Beck demonstrating how to take control of your chipping off the green. Each episode is packed with awesome camera angles that give you different views of the shot, is fast-moving, and sure to keep your attention...especially the "Circle of Friends" putting episode!

Unfortunately, the only thing I have circling when I'm on the green are sharks. Maybe watching these videos before I play will help my wallet stay in my back pocket!

JFB

People usually go to golf galaxy to buy everything from golf clubs bad golf shoes to basketball equipment as well. That is why the galaxy gets raving comments and referrals from baseball as well as basketball coaches.

Think you can play better than Tiger?

Here's your chance to prove it...and do it kicked-back watching the final round of the US Open, while drinking your favorite beverage.

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JFB

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How to increase your carbon footprint

You've heard the expression: "even a blind squirrel finds a nut"? Well from that, one could surmise that maybe the furry little critter embroidered on the fronts of thousands of golf caps at this weekend's US Open at Oakmont is blind. I mean...he's got a golf ball in his paws...not a nut.

After reading the June edition of Golf Digest, I now know that this squirrel is not blind.

Documenting a tree removal program that ultimately disemboweled 5000+ hardwoods from Terra fir ma (in the middle of the night, no less), author Ron Whitten portrays Oakmont C.C. in a fairer light, now that the trees are gone, harking back to the day when course architect H.C. Fownes wanted to have a world class course to emulate the same vistas of his Scottish homeland. I suppose if you look at it from that perspective...they succeeded, and Whitten is correct.

But if you speak to the thousands of natures little creatures...native purple finches, northern cardinals, orchard orioles...they all left with the trees, and probably aren't very cordial: "Damn Chester...how long were we in Florida?...I feel the need to lighten my load...there's the super's car, and he left the top down! Banzai!!!!!".

Did Oakmont replace the trees with birdhouses to maintain the lost ones they removed? I didn't notice any from the pictures I've been seeing. Maybe they will after the tournament.

Folks have been tongue-in-cheek lobbying to replace the Oakmont squirrel with a more appropriate one...like a chainsaw, or instead of a logo...a motto: "I got your carbon footprint right here".

But I think the squirrel is appropriate, and I hope he stays. After all, he found a golf ball...not a nut.

Judging from the tree-less Oakmont, isn't that appropriate?!

Thanks for reading. Keep it in the short-grass,

JFB

Which one doesn't belong

My 4-year old and I play a mind-tease game that basically revolves around determining what objects on a given flash card don't belong. "Saxophone"...he'll say, when presented with choices including a boat and car. "You can't drive a saxophone silly" he'll say, as if I came up with this goofy combination. Eerily, I feel Rodney Dangerfield elbow me.

Now I have one for you:

Furyk, Sabbatini, and Langer.

Yes, these Tour players are all vying for the win at today's conclusion of the Colonial. But choose one: As if you need a hint: he belongs on the Senior Tour.

Okay, now that we're on the same page, I need to get some stuff off my chest about what he's doing to the game of golf.

First off...Langer is 50. Now I'm 45, and age discrimination is not pleasant...but dammit...that's why there is a Champions Tour, so geezers like him can shuffle on off to that gray-beard league with their belly-putters, dine with fine wines, park in the front for early-bird prime rib dinners, and cap it off with turn-down service at 7pm.
Another thing...check him for a steroid patch. He's got more aches-and-pains than a Bay-Area bridge, and he comes out of nowhere to contend? I don't buy it.

What drama is it if this guy comes back from the living dead and wins one "for the Gipper". NONE. And that's why it's bad for the Tour.

Okay, I feel better now. But I've just realized something. If you look at the others in the aforementioned group, it's harder to spot the odd-man -out.

Sabbatini (the winner) is the little guy with a big heart that no can see coming...but oh, they can hear!
He's gonna get a few chuckles when he puts on that plaid jacket ("hey...isn't that the Lucky Charm guy from the cereal box?").
Hey 'Tini...one word for your first purchase after you get your paycheck: "lifts".

Finally, Furyk. The man with the homegrown swing. The perfect example of not fixing something if it ain't broke. The dolts at CBS put the swing cam on him...as if they really know what's going on in there...I mean, his swing looks good...if I'm a bowler.

Now that I look at these three guys, the coming-of-age show "Freaks and Geeks" come to mind...so even though they are different, they all have one thing in common...

All these players get no respect...

...and somewhere Rodney is smiling.


Thanks for reading. Keep it in the short-grass,

JFB

It's a southern thing

I must admit, after the birth of our daughter Wed night, I haven't been able to do much more than walk around in a daze from sleepless nights filled with determining the correct way to dispose of stinky diapers without having to fumigate the house come morning. So when I got to sit down and read today's Sports section in the AJC it was really a treat.

More treats occurred when I read the headlines that were colored in yellow-and-blue, and red-and-black. Yep, looks like the folks up at Sugarloaf Country Club are going to "hunker down for a good old-fashioned Southern brawl." As Larry Munson might have put it.

We have YellowJackets and Bulldogs atop the leaderboard at the South's other golf tournament in Buford GA...the one sandwiched between a season of The Masters in Augusta, and The Players Championship in Atlanta.

Hailing from Georgia Tech: Troy Matteson, and not far behind, just in from his yo-yo-like travails from The Nationwide Tour, and my favorite player: Matty Kuchar.
Then we have, coming from The University of Georgia with the shot of the day: Ryuji Imada.

This will be a fun one to watch as Sugarloaf will be super firm and fast, as we've had no rain in a month. Also, Sugarloaf has one of the best finishing holes in all non-major events.

As for me coming from the great state of Ohio (and a big Buckeye fan), I've learned...

...that Gators will also eat bees and bulldogs...

...so I'd watch out for spidey-man himself Camilo Villegas, who hails from The University of Florida. The greatest sports program in the nation.

Yep, I'm going to sit back and enjoy this Sunday's final round...it's a gorgeous day in The South. The bees are buzzing...the dogs are leashed...and the alligators are sunning themselves in the southern paradise known as Buford Georgia...

And my daughter is asleep. Now Hush Y'all.

Thanks for reading. Keep it in the short-grass,

JFB

A Year Behind the Scenes of the PGA Tour

So begins the subtitle to the latest golf-read to hit the bookshelves.

The Scorecard Always Lies- written by Chris Lewis, forecaddies its readers through the 2006 PGA Tour season.



Written in a similar-tone to the venerable tome A Good Walk Spoiled, Chris Lewis seamlessly blends the season into 14 don't-bother-me-son,-can't-you-see-I'm-reading-here chapters that encompass everything you didn't know-but wanted too, about the golfers that comprise the PGA Tour.

There is cart-path cred to backup Chris Lewis, as he has been covering golf for over 10 years, and now contributes the majority of his work for Sports illustrated.

The Scorecard Always Lies hurries the reader past all the stats and final round numbers...shuffles you past the brightly lit pressroom of sterile soundbites...and puts you right next to a fly.

That's right...a fly on the wall, as you are given an exclusive behind-the-ropes- look (with pictures!) at some of the Tours best-of's in 2006.


Thanks to the good folks at Simon & Schuster for the opportunity to read such a fantastic biography of one year in the history of The Tour. The timing to read it was fantastic, as I finished the book in my wife's room...delivery room that is...

Being just like a fly on the wall. :-)


Thanks for reading. Keep it in the short-grass,

JFB