Hey buddy, yeah you, get over here...you look worse-off than a fresh spinach salesman. Well buddy, this is your lucky day...why? Because I'm gonna make you money. You got a brokerage account, right? You get Golf magazine, right? Okay. Here's all ya gotta do:
The next time you're reading your Golf magazine, and you see where Phil Micklenuts has signed a new sponsor, call your broker.
And short the stock.
I'm not kidding buddy...this horse has stronger legs than Barbaro....more slam-dunks than the USA basketball team....a better track record than Dusty Baker....
Okay, that last one hurt.
I know, you say you want a sure thing, okay..how's this: Let's look at his top 3 sponsors (all of whom he's faithfully plastered over his frumpy cardigan-tattooed body over the last 5 years). Let's look at Ford, Bearing Point, and Callaway Golf.
Ford: phenominal company....if you sit on the board (not in one of their cars), or if you are Mickelnuts (in which I am assuming he is just collecting sponsorship checks...and not dividends as a stockholder). 5 years ago, F (for you home-gamers) has gone from the new-car showroom smell of $19 to the rusted-out junk-yard puke odor of $7.
Bearing Point: What was one KPMG Consulting (a top dog in its day for IT) has fallen on hard-times since the dot-bomb era. BE (todays' symbol) sat at $20 back then...now, you can find it in the bargain ailse with the Pets.com sock-puppet. It's given nothing but heartworms to investors....unless you're Mickelnuts. I wonder how much he's paid to pull that goofy visor over his bad haircut?
Finally, we have Callaway Golf, or ELY (founder's first name...cute isn't it?). This stock has had more combacks than Evander Holyfield....but it's gotten more than an ear bitten off, as it's been whacked from a high of $19 to where it languishes at $12.
So whattaya think buddy? Pretty good proof, right? I'm tellin' ya...it's golden information.
Hey buddy, gotta go, I think I just saw my new Golf issue goin' into my mailbox.
Thanks for reading. Keep it in the short-grass,