On the bunny trail to the Masters

Like the smell of baby, golf has a fresh start this year. The Masters tells us this is so. So let's put 2009 behind us and let the golf season 2010 begin!

...and be hopeful that this newborn baby doesn't have another "accident".

Thanks for reading. Keep it in the short-grass,

JFB

Who's zooming whom

I love poker, it is a cerebral game that pits yourself against two forces of nature: offense and defense. you have to decide which is more important to gain an edge over your competitor, and execute.

The Tiger Woods spectacle reached a new height last week when the frumpy-looking Eldrick shuffled himself onto a stage of people that don't care, and only want to stare...and get a good lead on a story.

Eldrick only knows how to play from a hand of offense. Defense is a foreign language to him, and instead of learning this art...he has deferred to his misfits of handlers that picked an inopportune time (The Olympics) to espouse on his failings.
The meeting made me feel that he is hiding something bigger and this is all a front to that bigness. Steroids, baby out of wedlock, gambling debts? We will never know, but Katilda hugging him after his oration made his puppet-act looked even more staged than it was. "Que camera 1" the world is watching your trainwreck.

Defense is not how you play golf, you have to challenge and push to triumph. Offense does this. Ask David Duval how you play with defense...it doesn't work very well. Eldrick will be playing defense for a long time.

The Bear will still rule the record books until Eldrick learns how to play from his new position.

Defense.


Thanks for reading. Keep it in the short-grass,

JFB

The Champions Tour sets sail

As I sing happy birthday to the greatest golfer to ever hold a flatstick, I want to pay my respect to the PGA Tour. It is simply in a lifeboat. The Hope Classic has no sponsor and has no top 30 players playing. Rather, all the talent has been sucked away (as predicted), following the money wherever it goes to the detriment of fans of the game. This week, the money is in Abu Dhabi in the UAE. The PGA Tour will find itself in Mexico and Puerto Rico before it comes back to Augusta.

Where is a US golf fan to turn?

How about Hawaii?

That's right. The Champion's Tour. With little fanfare, one of the most popular golfers in history...Fred Couples, made his Champions Tour debut this week in Hualalai. He is currently in 3rd behind other (former PGA Tour) fan favorites Tom Lehman and Tom Watson. I believe the Champions Tour holds more enjoyment to the US golf fan now than ever. Most of the fan favorites are now in full rotation on the Champions Tour, and sponsors are noticing, which will allow the Tour to thrive where other Tours are having to retrench.

As an overall optimistic fan of the game...I think it's great to have all these Tours so we can pick and choose our what interests us. I believe for the next few years the Champions Tour will garner the most fan interest. I see a retro-rebirth...couch-golfers connecting with their past. Freddy will lead the way, and I see the Champions Tour as the rope that will keep the overall PGA's life- preserver treading water.

Maybe presciently...The Champions Tour this week is sponsored by Mitsubishi Electric.

I think we're about to see sparks fly.

Thanks for reading. Keep it in the short-grass,

JFB

Like the NFL...check this out

The long shot

Last week, a buddy of mine was at the CES in Vegas, and I gave him a few sheckles to place some bets for me. I took the popular route, and placed some wagers on the Super Bowl and the NCAA Basketball Championships. I've done well with those bets before...why change horses mid-stream?

But I missed an opportunity.

Look at the current odds for the 2010 Masters .

Are you kidding me? 5:2 on Tiger when he is holed-up in a place unknown getting facial restoration (he's not shown himself at all...the fallout "is the reason"...like Prez Obama tells his staff...we should connect the dots...so should we), and has deemed to sit out this year?!

There are a lot of optimists out there! I'm not one of them. We won't see Tiger until the end of the 2010 season...my guess would be the last couple tournaments to boost his stock over the winter and to create a media frenzy in anticipation going into 2011.

If I were his handlers, that's how I'd play it.

But I digress. The reason for this post is to tell you who I think will win the 2K10 Masters.

I think this year is the greatest opportunity to wager on golf's super dark-horses...those with over 100-1 odds...why? Because the golfers know this is their best chance too. This will be their best fighting chance to take a tremendous honor and trophy that Tiger Woods owns, and will take ownership of again....once he returns.

I like Weekly and Curtis. Both 125-1 odds, both steady-Eddie's...both do well in Majors.

That's my best guess...whom do you like? Place your bets!


Thanks for reading. Keep it in the short-grass,

JFB

Wood

Wood’s Wood Warrants 8 New Campaigns!

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The sting

Psst...hey, let me tell you how this went down. My names Bones...and with the help of a well-connected golfer and a hacked SkyCaddie...we brought down the most famous athlete in history.

It was early last year when I got a mysterious call: "Look for the little black box in Phil's bag"...click.

While on the back nine of the Phoenix Open during my bosses bathroom break, I rifled through the bag as thorough as Jermaine going through Michael's will.

I found a SkyCaddie. I turned it on.

It blinked a couple times, and started making a static-y sound. Then all of a sudden a screen popped up and revealed addresses...not of golf courses, but of motels. This apparently was a hacked SkyCaddie that was now a compromised GPS.

I followed the trail, and with the help of my mystery-caller...I cracked the code of these various motel rooms holding preserved lipstick-stained wine glasses, soiled bedsheets, and half-eaten oysters on the half-shell. The final clue was a tiger headcover.

The rest is history, and is being written a re-written daily thanks to some Benjamin's from the National Enquirer. I...being led to discover Golf-Gate...with a quasi GPS and well-timed phone calls, will position my boss as the numero-uno in golf...the man who wears the pants...my man Phil.

But who was the caller?

Was it Phil? The Bear? Elin?

Nope...


After much soul-searching...and a cut on my future book-deal, I'm revealing my source:


It was Fluff.


Thanks for reading. Keep it in the short-grass,

JFB

Is this what Earl Wood's wanted?

Tiger's Dad predicted with much clarity that his son would become more than a golfer and would become an international ambassador of goodwill.

Except for the hookers involved in his "transgressions"....not sure all this is what he had in mind.

While in hiding. his handlers would be well advised to drop his nickname 'Tiger' and recreate his new image as Eldrick, and...if he comes back to golf...to lose the red shirt in favor of ...no, not a smoker's jacket...but logo-ed apparel from MLB, NFL...or other organized sports associations.

He has to re-start his career from the bottom and work his way back up. To re-earn the nickname and red shirt.

I think that's what his Dad would want.

Thanks for reading. Keep it in the short-grass,

JFB