LPGA: Psst...hey, what are you going to do Tiger? No wins this year, doesn't seem like you man.
Tiger: Uh, you're right. I don't want to go through another year like this one. I'm on the downside of my 30's, these new guys on Tour are eating my lunch. I don't feel like myself anymore.
LPGA: We can change that all for you Tiger. You've heard about our new bylaw?
Tiger: No, Brother...tell me more!
LPGA: Well, there was this chick..er..yeah...chick, that tried to sue us for being "male-born" after she changed her...um...profile...and now can compete with the likes of Michelle Wie now...it's all legal man!
Tiger: So...what are you saying?
LPGA: Change your profile dude! Look..no wins...getting old...Major run is in jeopardy...you need to resurrect your career man, what a way to do that than a little snip here, a couple bulges there...voila! You're a new ma...er..woman! You'd dust the field...collect a brand new mantle-full of trophies...I mean the sky is the limit over on our side!
Tiger: Well, my sponsors would have concerns...except EA...that would give their game-software engineers some new ideas...those guys in the back room love adding breasts...hmm..I think you're on to something! Where do I sign up?
LPGA: Meet me in Cabo in January...we got a doc down there that does this on the down-lo. By April...you'll be Miss Tigress Woods. I got a call out to Ms Burk, and she all but assures me she can get you into the Masters on a surgical exemption...so your new career will be ramped and ready to go.
HEY...HEY...what are you dudes discussing?
LPGA/Tiger: Oh, hey Phil...nothing, nothing at all...just, you know...talking.
Phil: I get it...don't ask, don't tell right?...hey LPGA, gotta sec?
Thanks for reading. Keep it in the short-grass,