I'm feeling a little international today, so here's Puerto-Rican ditty:
At dawn, the telephone rings:
"Hello, Senor? This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country House."
"Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?"
"Um, I am just calling to advise you, Senor, that your parrot died."
"My parrot? Dead? The one that won the international competition?"
"Yes Senor, that's the one."
"Damn! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. What did He
"From eating rotten meat, Senor."
"Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?"
"Nobody, Senor. He ate the meat of the dead horse."
"Dead horse? What dead horse?"
"Your thoroughbred, Senor. He died from all that work pulling The
"Are you insane? What water cart?"
"The one we used to put out the fire, Senor."
"Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?"
"The one at your house, Senor! A candle fell and the curtains caught on
"What the.....!!! But there's electricity at the house!!! What was the
"For the funeral, Senor."
"WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL?
"Your wife's, Senor...She showed up late in the night out of the blue
Thought she was a thief, so I hit her with your new Tiger Woods Nike Sasquatch driver."
"Ernesto if you broke that driver, you're in deep sh*t
-¡Gracias por la broma, Jose!-