Friday, June 22, 2007

What to get the new baby...

Yep, that's the BIG question. What do you get Tiger and Elin's little girl?
Uhh...if you thought the big question on everybody's mind was which song Hillary would pick for her campaign're on the wrong need The Huffington Post.

Having been on the receiving end of this twice (one very recently), I have a few ideas.

First, the about a silver spoon? Wait...scratch that...seems that she was already born with one of those. Tiffany's had her fitted during the delivery. They even threw in a sterling teething ring.

Ok...thinking about Elin, I would go with a Swedish product that is indispensable: the Baby Bjorn. In this era of multi-tasking...this fabulous product (which carries the little bundle of joy on your chest, in a pouch...kind of like a kangaroo's). The added bonus will be that the baby faces toward you, so that the gazillion or so camera-frenzied paparazzi will be scuttled.
Mr and Mrs Privacy will love that!

Burp cloths are a necessity. Tiger, no matter how much you think "she's Daddy's little girl", she's gonna spit-up on you. The only way to avoid this impending dribble staining your beloved Nike shirts, is you're gonna need a I'm thinking an Asian burp cloth . That should make Kutilda excited enough to handle the majority of the baby-belches. Giving you a break.

Finally, both of you will use a diaper bag. My wife got hers at Tar-jea...and I'm sure the folks at Target will give you one. As a Diamond Member of your Tiger Woods Foundation, it's the least they can do.
There will be times though, when you just want to pop in somewhere, where you don't want to lug that bag need a satchel to hold just the essentials...

the diapers and wipes...

You need a Simba diaper and wipe bag. Thus avoiding a terrible experience when your thinking to yourself..."hey, I'm just gonna pop into Whole Foods for some sushi."

Of all the cultural gifts mentioned, that one rounds-out your African-American heritage. I'm sure that would make Earl smile. One big happy family.

Although I bet he'd give anything up there to change one diaper for you down here.

Thanks for reading. Keep it in the short-grass,


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