Hand Job

Something stuck out at me like a sore thumb (pun intended) when I glossed through my Golf and Golf Digest magazines this month.

First, GD had an advertisement for Ashworth clothes. A man (Peter Beames) in the middle of what looks like a field in Texas, demonstrating the correct hand posture during his follow-thru. The caption read: "Hand of the Magician".

Then, in Golf, is the new Nike ad in which there are 9 PGA pros demonstrating the correct way to demonstrate a "Victory Wave" with the new Platinum golf ball. At the bottom of the page is...I kid you not...is a shadow box with drawings of incorrect and correct ways to hold the ball in your hands when making a "Victory Wave".


So why the sudden hand fetish with golf? And since when has golfers' hands become modeling material? I mean how in the world can Rory Sabbatini's hands be considered marketable?


I think Nike has it wrong on one of the "incorrect ball displays", so for those of you who haven't seen the ad...here it is...an in-the-flesh version:

Yeah...I know...you're wondering if I'm a hand model...um, no...I'm not.

I have a bone to pick with Nike on this ball display. They say this is not a correct way to display the ball as a "victory", but they are assuming that everyone has had an actual victory, as in skins victory...or Eagle...or maybe even Birdie.

But what about all the rest of us? We all have slightly different versions of victory. Let's say you just break open a sleeve of these Platinum balls. They smell so fresh you'd swear they just came off the assembly line. You put one on the tee and THWACK! Into the drink it goes...you even forgot to properly introduce yourself to the poor ball as it sailed right past a Gosling...making a subtle KerPlop. You come up to the pond figuring you'd say the balls' last rites...when out of the corner of your eye you see a shimmer of the Platinum ball! you reach your hand in, and wallah!

That is what your hand looks like in the moment of that victory.

You can also see this hand position while hunting for your ratty old ball in the woods. Thrashing through the high plains like a Sulawesi rainforest guide, you come upon a brilliant-white-dimpled orb...untouched by the surrounding bird poop and poison ivy. Not yours, but better...a Platinum!

That is what your hand position looks like.

Now, here's another victorious hand position:

That's the victory hand-pose of your retailer snagging a couple Jackson's out of your wallet for these balls.

Thanks for reading. Keep it out of the short-grass,

JFB