Golf Journal: Thanks, Golf Haters—Now Be Quiet - WSJ.com
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Saturday, August 29, 2009
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Ohhh....crap...
Quiet...do you hear that sound? It's the sound of sweat bubbling up from the pours of a Tiger. No, not the kind of tiger you see in the zoo...they don't sweat. It's the Tiger named Woods.
He's pissed, and he ain't gonna take it anymore.
I imagine the PGA Championship pushed him over the edge.
Sure he's been dinged a little bit this year, what with the drama played out over his returned of his injury-scarred winter layoff. Not only did he have to concentrate on his recovery...but the economic recovery. His planned golf course in Dubai-World is folding faster than a cheap map, and his grand Cliffs plan, scaling now to look more like a gradual slope.
Let's not forget the sponsorship head-aches he has dealt with after Buick pulled out...(and rolled into DC traffic...getting sandwiched in the process by a limo driven by Barney Frank, and the G4 flown by Pelosi). And Gatorade flubbing its way through a re-branding scheme that has even his head-covers scratching their heads...
...but hey, that's G!...
...but that's not Tiger.
The Tiger we know is bulletproof. Nothing stops him. He isn't human...he's a machine.
Then someone tugged on Superman's cape.
That someone was Y.E. Yang. A guy not even groomed for this scenario...the boy wanted to be a weightlifter, not a golfer. I mean, he didn't even start playing golf 'till he was 19!
But what Y.E. did is so scary, so illogical, that it smacks of the kind of prank you would expect an MIT grad to play on the Dean of the college. "psst, I'll do your physics homework for a week if you pull down the Dean's pants during commencement."
Y.E pants'd Tiger at a MAJOR.
The media is all excited that Tiger has registered to play in the Barclay's next week. But Tiger-speak for this is that he's driving his school bus to the bus-stop...
...and he's gonna take some kids to school.
Thanks for reading. Keep it in the short-grass,
JFB
He's pissed, and he ain't gonna take it anymore.
I imagine the PGA Championship pushed him over the edge.
Sure he's been dinged a little bit this year, what with the drama played out over his returned of his injury-scarred winter layoff. Not only did he have to concentrate on his recovery...but the economic recovery. His planned golf course in Dubai-World is folding faster than a cheap map, and his grand Cliffs plan, scaling now to look more like a gradual slope.
Let's not forget the sponsorship head-aches he has dealt with after Buick pulled out...(and rolled into DC traffic...getting sandwiched in the process by a limo driven by Barney Frank, and the G4 flown by Pelosi). And Gatorade flubbing its way through a re-branding scheme that has even his head-covers scratching their heads...
...but hey, that's G!...
...but that's not Tiger.
The Tiger we know is bulletproof. Nothing stops him. He isn't human...he's a machine.
Then someone tugged on Superman's cape.
That someone was Y.E. Yang. A guy not even groomed for this scenario...the boy wanted to be a weightlifter, not a golfer. I mean, he didn't even start playing golf 'till he was 19!
But what Y.E. did is so scary, so illogical, that it smacks of the kind of prank you would expect an MIT grad to play on the Dean of the college. "psst, I'll do your physics homework for a week if you pull down the Dean's pants during commencement."
Y.E pants'd Tiger at a MAJOR.
The media is all excited that Tiger has registered to play in the Barclay's next week. But Tiger-speak for this is that he's driving his school bus to the bus-stop...
...and he's gonna take some kids to school.
Thanks for reading. Keep it in the short-grass,
JFB
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
A classic mini-golf course
Hartville Ohio is home to a 50-year old miniature golf course. My Mom would hustle me and my brother to this 36 hole mini-golf course that...at the time... sat in between a cornfield and a old farm.
We couldn't wait to play the golf course which consisted of a final hole that, if hit dead-on, would yield us a free trip to have 18 holes of more fun.
We must've played that golf course a hundred times in my youth. In the 70's in NE Ohio, it was that, or a swimming pool that had more trunks in it than a car factory and a flea market that was more fleas than market.
We didn't have much...and we didn't expect much, but something about choosing your color ball and picking a child-sized putter, made us feel like royalty. My Mom was the conduit to our memorable visits to that spot, and contributed merrily in our grand adventure.
Last weekend I went back to Rolling Greens miniature golf course. Me, my brother, his kids, and my son in tow. A third generation being introduced by a couple of grown-up kids now with gray hair and crow's feet.
It had been 30 years since my brother and I played there. On the way, we talked about the place, and how we couldn't wait to hit it through the windmill, or tee it off on one of the longest holes that must be in the Guiness book of Putt- Putt...
...or to get the free game.
Tuesday, August 04, 2009
My hometown's big day in the sun
This weekend the sports media will be focused on two very popular sporting events. The football Hall of Fame induction and game, and The WGC Bridgestone Golf Invitational.
The cool thing is it will all be centered around my hometown, Canton, Ohio.
My son and I will actually be there this weekend so he can goof around with his grampop and his cousins. The closest we'll get to golf will be playing the miniature golf course I grew up on, and the closest we'll get to the football inductees will be watching them drive down Main Street for the Hall of Fame parade.
Growing up in Canton was just as you would imagine how Midwestern life would be; hardworking...mind-your-manners...be home for the family dinner-type people. Ohio folk are big on tradition...the Hall of Fame being full of traditional events throughout the week, parades, rib-offs, balloon lifts, car shows and the like are scattered throughout the week in my hometown.
The golf tournament was called The Firestone World Series of Golf back in my day. I caddied in the pro am once with John Cook...what a thrill! As a kid, I was able to get anyone's autograph that I could by shoving a program in front of them. My idol at the time was Curtis Strange. Getting his was momentous. Nicklaus, Palmer, Player...you name it I got it during that tournament.
My Dad was employed for Firestone during that time...he worked on the corporate jets at their hangar at the airport. He would tell me stories of the players and celebrities flying in for the tournament: from Chi Chi Rodriguez to Don Meredith...that Firestone would fly in for the weekend. I thought my Dad had the coolest job when he told those stories during dinnertime.
As I've grown older, I have forgotten those rich traditions. I even forgot these events were this weekend when I booked our flight! But the memories will come flooding back, as the stories will be told to my younger generation...my son.
...we'll reflect, gathered around a small dinner table in my tiny hometown of Canton Ohio, while the whole wide world peeps in for a look.
Thanks for reading. Keep it in the short-grass,
JFB
The cool thing is it will all be centered around my hometown, Canton, Ohio.
My son and I will actually be there this weekend so he can goof around with his grampop and his cousins. The closest we'll get to golf will be playing the miniature golf course I grew up on, and the closest we'll get to the football inductees will be watching them drive down Main Street for the Hall of Fame parade.
Growing up in Canton was just as you would imagine how Midwestern life would be; hardworking...mind-your-manners...be home for the family dinner-type people. Ohio folk are big on tradition...the Hall of Fame being full of traditional events throughout the week, parades, rib-offs, balloon lifts, car shows and the like are scattered throughout the week in my hometown.
The golf tournament was called The Firestone World Series of Golf back in my day. I caddied in the pro am once with John Cook...what a thrill! As a kid, I was able to get anyone's autograph that I could by shoving a program in front of them. My idol at the time was Curtis Strange. Getting his was momentous. Nicklaus, Palmer, Player...you name it I got it during that tournament.
My Dad was employed for Firestone during that time...he worked on the corporate jets at their hangar at the airport. He would tell me stories of the players and celebrities flying in for the tournament: from Chi Chi Rodriguez to Don Meredith...that Firestone would fly in for the weekend. I thought my Dad had the coolest job when he told those stories during dinnertime.
As I've grown older, I have forgotten those rich traditions. I even forgot these events were this weekend when I booked our flight! But the memories will come flooding back, as the stories will be told to my younger generation...my son.
...we'll reflect, gathered around a small dinner table in my tiny hometown of Canton Ohio, while the whole wide world peeps in for a look.
Thanks for reading. Keep it in the short-grass,
JFB
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