Wood’s Wood Warrants 8 New Campaigns!
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Saturday, December 26, 2009
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
The sting
Psst...hey, let me tell you how this went down. My names Bones...and with the help of a well-connected golfer and a hacked SkyCaddie...we brought down the most famous athlete in history.
It was early last year when I got a mysterious call: "Look for the little black box in Phil's bag"...click.
While on the back nine of the Phoenix Open during my bosses bathroom break, I rifled through the bag as thorough as Jermaine going through Michael's will.
I found a SkyCaddie. I turned it on.
It blinked a couple times, and started making a static-y sound. Then all of a sudden a screen popped up and revealed addresses...not of golf courses, but of motels. This apparently was a hacked SkyCaddie that was now a compromised GPS.
I followed the trail, and with the help of my mystery-caller...I cracked the code of these various motel rooms holding preserved lipstick-stained wine glasses, soiled bedsheets, and half-eaten oysters on the half-shell. The final clue was a tiger headcover.
The rest is history, and is being written a re-written daily thanks to some Benjamin's from the National Enquirer. I...being led to discover Golf-Gate...with a quasi GPS and well-timed phone calls, will position my boss as the numero-uno in golf...the man who wears the pants...my man Phil.
But who was the caller?
Was it Phil? The Bear? Elin?
Nope...
After much soul-searching...and a cut on my future book-deal, I'm revealing my source:
It was Fluff.
Thanks for reading. Keep it in the short-grass,
JFB
It was early last year when I got a mysterious call: "Look for the little black box in Phil's bag"...click.
While on the back nine of the Phoenix Open during my bosses bathroom break, I rifled through the bag as thorough as Jermaine going through Michael's will.
I found a SkyCaddie. I turned it on.
It blinked a couple times, and started making a static-y sound. Then all of a sudden a screen popped up and revealed addresses...not of golf courses, but of motels. This apparently was a hacked SkyCaddie that was now a compromised GPS.
I followed the trail, and with the help of my mystery-caller...I cracked the code of these various motel rooms holding preserved lipstick-stained wine glasses, soiled bedsheets, and half-eaten oysters on the half-shell. The final clue was a tiger headcover.
The rest is history, and is being written a re-written daily thanks to some Benjamin's from the National Enquirer. I...being led to discover Golf-Gate...with a quasi GPS and well-timed phone calls, will position my boss as the numero-uno in golf...the man who wears the pants...my man Phil.
But who was the caller?
Was it Phil? The Bear? Elin?
Nope...
After much soul-searching...and a cut on my future book-deal, I'm revealing my source:
It was Fluff.
Thanks for reading. Keep it in the short-grass,
JFB
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Is this what Earl Wood's wanted?
Tiger's Dad predicted with much clarity that his son would become more than a golfer and would become an international ambassador of goodwill.
Except for the hookers involved in his "transgressions"....not sure all this is what he had in mind.
While in hiding. his handlers would be well advised to drop his nickname 'Tiger' and recreate his new image as Eldrick, and...if he comes back to golf...to lose the red shirt in favor of ...no, not a smoker's jacket...but logo-ed apparel from MLB, NFL...or other organized sports associations.
He has to re-start his career from the bottom and work his way back up. To re-earn the nickname and red shirt.
I think that's what his Dad would want.
Thanks for reading. Keep it in the short-grass,
JFB
Except for the hookers involved in his "transgressions"....not sure all this is what he had in mind.
While in hiding. his handlers would be well advised to drop his nickname 'Tiger' and recreate his new image as Eldrick, and...if he comes back to golf...to lose the red shirt in favor of ...no, not a smoker's jacket...but logo-ed apparel from MLB, NFL...or other organized sports associations.
He has to re-start his career from the bottom and work his way back up. To re-earn the nickname and red shirt.
I think that's what his Dad would want.
Thanks for reading. Keep it in the short-grass,
JFB
Friday, December 18, 2009
Real heroes we can believe in
“CELEBRATING THE FIRST TEE ” TO AIR ON GOLF CHANNEL
Special to Focus on Participants, Programs and GOLF CHANNEL-Sponsored Tournament
St. Augustine, Fla. (December 17, 2009) – The First Tee will be the subject of a one-hour special, “Celebrating The First Tee,” featuring The GOLF CHANNEL Invitational for The First Tee. The show will air at 8 p.m. EST Sunday, Dec. 20, 2009 on GOLF CHANNEL.
The GOLF CHANNEL Invitational for The First Tee is a premiere national golf and marketing event featuring a competitive tournament for business executives and their guests. Held annually, and with participation by youth from The First Tee Chapters around the globe, The Invitational serves to support The First Tee Chapters throughout the United States and in five additional countries.
“Celebrating The First Tee” will highlight The First Tee Chapters and participants, snapshots of various aspects of the organization and stories of support from corporations around the globe for The Invitational and The First Tee, integral to the organization’s success.
“Each year, thousands of young people around the world receive direct benefit from The First Tee through various sponsored events like The Invitational”, said Joe Louis Barrow Jr., chief executive officer of The First Tee. “Through GOLF CHANNEL’s remarkable international reach with shows such as ‘Celebrating The First Tee,’ more and more individuals will recognize the effects of The First Tee and its mission to enhance the lives of young people through the game of golf.”
“Celebrating The First Tee” will take viewers to the 2009 Invitational held in October at Callaway Gardens through footage and interviews with event participants including youth from more than 14 different The First Tee Chapters and corporate sponsors who take a great role in helping The First Tee provide its programs. The show also will highlight a variety of professional golfers who support The First Tee, extraordinary Chapters and even a former participant of The First Tee who is now an instructor.
For more information about The First Tee and its programs, visit www.thefirsttee.org.
About The First Tee
The First Tee (www.thefirsttee.org) is an initiative of the World Golf Foundation, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization based in St. Augustine , FL at World Golf Village , home of the World Golf Hall of Fame. Its mission is to impact the lives of young people by providing learning facilities and educational programs that promote character development and life-enhancing values through the game of golf. Since its inception in 1997, The First Tee has introduced the game of golf and its values to more than 3 million participants in 49 states, over 3,000 elementary schools and five international locations – Canada, England, Ireland, New Zealand and Singapore. Former President George H. W. Bush serves as honorary chairman. The First Tee Founding Partners are the LPGA, the Masters Tournament, PGA of America, PGA TOUR and the USGA.
About GOLF CHANNEL
GOLF CHANNEL is a multimedia, golf entertainment and services company based in Orlando , Fla. The GOLF CHANNEL cable network, co-founded by Arnold Palmer and a subsidiary of Comcast Corporation (NASDAQ: CMCSA, CMCSK), is available in more than 120 million homes worldwide through cable, satellite and wireless companies. Exclusive partnerships with the world’s top tours allow GOLF CHANNEL to feature more live golf coverage than all other networks combined, added to a programming schedule distinguished by golf’s best news, instruction and original programming. GOLF CHANNEL’s digital platform of businesses is led by GolfChannel.com, the number-one golf destination on the Internet, delivering unmatched coverage of the world of golf, as well as services that help the recreational player with how to play, what to play and where to play golf.
Special to Focus on Participants, Programs and GOLF CHANNEL-Sponsored Tournament
St. Augustine, Fla. (December 17, 2009) – The First Tee will be the subject of a one-hour special, “Celebrating The First Tee,” featuring The GOLF CHANNEL Invitational for The First Tee. The show will air at 8 p.m. EST Sunday, Dec. 20, 2009 on GOLF CHANNEL.
The GOLF CHANNEL Invitational for The First Tee is a premiere national golf and marketing event featuring a competitive tournament for business executives and their guests. Held annually, and with participation by youth from The First Tee Chapters around the globe, The Invitational serves to support The First Tee Chapters throughout the United States and in five additional countries.
“Celebrating The First Tee” will highlight The First Tee Chapters and participants, snapshots of various aspects of the organization and stories of support from corporations around the globe for The Invitational and The First Tee, integral to the organization’s success.
“Each year, thousands of young people around the world receive direct benefit from The First Tee through various sponsored events like The Invitational”, said Joe Louis Barrow Jr., chief executive officer of The First Tee. “Through GOLF CHANNEL’s remarkable international reach with shows such as ‘Celebrating The First Tee,’ more and more individuals will recognize the effects of The First Tee and its mission to enhance the lives of young people through the game of golf.”
“Celebrating The First Tee” will take viewers to the 2009 Invitational held in October at Callaway Gardens through footage and interviews with event participants including youth from more than 14 different The First Tee Chapters and corporate sponsors who take a great role in helping The First Tee provide its programs. The show also will highlight a variety of professional golfers who support The First Tee, extraordinary Chapters and even a former participant of The First Tee who is now an instructor.
For more information about The First Tee and its programs, visit www.thefirsttee.org.
About The First Tee
The First Tee (www.thefirsttee.org) is an initiative of the World Golf Foundation, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization based in St. Augustine , FL at World Golf Village , home of the World Golf Hall of Fame. Its mission is to impact the lives of young people by providing learning facilities and educational programs that promote character development and life-enhancing values through the game of golf. Since its inception in 1997, The First Tee has introduced the game of golf and its values to more than 3 million participants in 49 states, over 3,000 elementary schools and five international locations – Canada, England, Ireland, New Zealand and Singapore. Former President George H. W. Bush serves as honorary chairman. The First Tee Founding Partners are the LPGA, the Masters Tournament, PGA of America, PGA TOUR and the USGA.
About GOLF CHANNEL
GOLF CHANNEL is a multimedia, golf entertainment and services company based in Orlando , Fla. The GOLF CHANNEL cable network, co-founded by Arnold Palmer and a subsidiary of Comcast Corporation (NASDAQ: CMCSA, CMCSK), is available in more than 120 million homes worldwide through cable, satellite and wireless companies. Exclusive partnerships with the world’s top tours allow GOLF CHANNEL to feature more live golf coverage than all other networks combined, added to a programming schedule distinguished by golf’s best news, instruction and original programming. GOLF CHANNEL’s digital platform of businesses is led by GolfChannel.com, the number-one golf destination on the Internet, delivering unmatched coverage of the world of golf, as well as services that help the recreational player with how to play, what to play and where to play golf.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Tiger outsourced!
News of Accenture dropping Tiger Woods had me thinking about those ad campaigns showing him in tall grass with a dumbfounded look on his face.
Now I know that wasn't grass he was standing in...
...thems was weeds.
Truth in advertising does exist!
Thanks for reading. Keep it in the short-grass,
JFB
Now I know that wasn't grass he was standing in...
...thems was weeds.
Truth in advertising does exist!
Thanks for reading. Keep it in the short-grass,
JFB
Wednesday, December 09, 2009
The cracks are showing
Rule of thumb when there is bad news on a stock is you never want to buy into it while the news is just coming out...the rule of thumb is "you can't catch a falling knife".
Tiger Woods is a falling knife.
Pepsi announced they are terminating the Tiger sports drink to focus on it's core brands. They say it's not timed with the TigerGate, but I'm sure they is a moral clause in the contract that lets Pepsi move on. And let's be honest...was it really a great branding idea? I think not. I think Pepsi is better for it.
This is a way to reduce any more cuts in Pepsi's hands.
Tiger's team is smart to stay hidden and to wait until the smoke has cleared. What he says now won't do any good until the bottom has fallen out...like his mother-in-laws stomach.
Thanks for reading. Keep it in the short-grass,
JFB
Tiger Woods is a falling knife.
Pepsi announced they are terminating the Tiger sports drink to focus on it's core brands. They say it's not timed with the TigerGate, but I'm sure they is a moral clause in the contract that lets Pepsi move on. And let's be honest...was it really a great branding idea? I think not. I think Pepsi is better for it.
This is a way to reduce any more cuts in Pepsi's hands.
Tiger's team is smart to stay hidden and to wait until the smoke has cleared. What he says now won't do any good until the bottom has fallen out...like his mother-in-laws stomach.
Thanks for reading. Keep it in the short-grass,
JFB
Sunday, December 06, 2009
Saturday, December 05, 2009
Thursday, December 03, 2009
Crouching Tiger, hidden Elin
At this stage, let's take a look at the top 10 who's happy, and whose sad at this moment:
10) Lawyers are happy
9) Jesper Parnevik is sad
8) Callaway is happy
7) Nike's "Just Do It' tagline is sad
6) Plastic Surgeons are happy
5) Stevie Williams is sad
4) The media is happy
3) Bill Finchem is sad
2) Sweden, Australia, Thailand, and the US are sad
But the #1 happy is:
Phil Mickelson.
This is one more reason not to put anyone that is not of your immediate family on a pedestal...Charles was right on brother!
...and speaking of Charles Barkley :-) I'd love to hear what he has to say about this...it would be the only unfiltered point of view from a media personality I'd be interested in.
Thanks for reading. Keep it in the short-grass,
JFB
10) Lawyers are happy
9) Jesper Parnevik is sad
8) Callaway is happy
7) Nike's "Just Do It' tagline is sad
6) Plastic Surgeons are happy
5) Stevie Williams is sad
4) The media is happy
3) Bill Finchem is sad
2) Sweden, Australia, Thailand, and the US are sad
But the #1 happy is:
Phil Mickelson.
This is one more reason not to put anyone that is not of your immediate family on a pedestal...Charles was right on brother!
...and speaking of Charles Barkley :-) I'd love to hear what he has to say about this...it would be the only unfiltered point of view from a media personality I'd be interested in.
Thanks for reading. Keep it in the short-grass,
JFB
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